His pen won't keep still. He reads the same question four times. The clock is the loudest thing in the room. You know how he feels, and nobody told you. That's show, don't tell.
Telling names the feeling
Most students write: "He was really nervous." That's telling. It names the feeling, so the reader feels nothing.
Showing gives clues
Showing gives the reader clues and lets them work it out. Because they work it out, they feel it too.
The camera test
Ask one question: could a camera film it? A camera can't film "nervous". But it can film a shaking pen, or a ticking clock. So swap the feeling word for what the camera sees.
Why it matters in the exam
On the AQA GCSE English Language paper, the top band for creative writing describes communication that is "compelling". Showing is one of the ways to get there.
Telling still has its place: it's useful for summaries and for moving a story on quickly. Save showing for the big emotional moments.
Show this without using the feeling word: "She was really angry."
Show the answer
One way: "She slammed the door so hard the cups rattled. Then, silence." Check it with the camera test: a camera could film every part of it.
Save this for your next test
- Telling names the feeling.
- Showing gives clues for the reader to work out.
- Camera test: could a camera film it?
- Use showing for the big emotional moments.
Read the video transcript
- Guess how he's feeling. I'm not allowed to say it.
- His pen won't keep still.
- He reads the same question four times.
- The clock is the loudest thing in the room.
- Got it?
- Nervous. And I never once said "nervous".
- That's called "show, don't tell". And most students do the opposite.
- They write: "He was really nervous."
- That's telling. It names the feeling, so the reader feels nothing.
- Showing gives clues. The reader works it out, so they feel it too.
- Here's a quick test. Could a camera film it?
- A camera can't film "nervous".
- But it can film a shaking pen. A ticking clock.
- So swap the feeling word for what the camera sees.
- On the AQA paper, the top band for creative writing says "compelling". This is how you get there.
- Your turn. Show this, without the feeling word: "She was really angry."
- Three… two… one…
- Try this: "She slammed the door so hard the cups rattled. Then, silence."
- Write yours in the comments.
- Want writing that makes the examiner feel something? Book a free trial lesson at bloomeducationonline.com.
Want writing to click like this?
Every Bloom lesson works the same way: one idea at a time, shown before it's explained, then practised until it sticks. Book a free assessment and see it applied to your child's own work.
